June Reviews

This June was unlike any I've ever seen before, and with that a pride like I've never experienced. Regardless of the status of the world (and especially the country), I read the rainbow this month just like I did last year. This pride tradition served as a way for me to maintain some sense of normalcy amidst the continued pandemic and some moments of silence amidst the protests--but for the record, Black Lives Matter and Black Trans Lives Matter, absolutely. So if you're looking for something colorfully queer to read in between fighting systemic violence, take a gander at what I read this month.

The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopulos

I bought this book because it was gay and about magic and because Adam Silvera said I should. I don't know Adam Silvera personally and probably never will, but I trust his book judgment, and I was absolutely right to.

All Sam needs are his two best friends, Delia and James, and magic. Nevermind the fact that he's in love with James, or that Delia's obsession with powerful magic has blown right past borderline dangerous. Nevermind the fact that James is suddenly all about this new girl from his church and the cute new guy joining their magic club seems to like Sam. Nevermind that his magic isn't as powerful as his friends, or that it's starting to feel like the three of them are coming apart at the seams over the very thing that's supposed to hold them together. Throw in a dangerous magic cult and a plan to disrupt an entire magic convention, and it's starting to look like not everyone will come out of this friends--or alive.

This book was a very real look at growing apart from the most important people in the world to you. Sam and James and Delia have been best friends forever, and while that's shaped them into the people they are, it's also been hindering their growth. I couldn't pinpoint the fault lines in this trio's friendship that were unfixable until they'd already cracked right open, until they weren't a unit anymore. And those cracks shattered off in a billion different directions, affecting things I didn't think they could, all tied back to the way a person's life can implode when they lose someone important, even if it's just losing them to themselves.

The magic world building in this book was fascinating (lol title pun). I loved the continuous overt and subliminal comparisons between magic and being queer, and the role the church played in shunning both. Sam, as a queer magic user, faced the derision of his schoolmates for both of his loves, and it was such an interesting way of building the overall opinion of magic in a very magical world. The book was set in Georgia, where the deep southern discrimination and love coexisted, crafting a very realistic look at how difference is treated in a lot of places.

The characters The Fascinators were fantastic and frustrating and so very real. They made mistakes and justified them and having the opportunity to look through all the different narrator's eyes was so, so interesting and added so much to the book. With so much happening, the several POVs were needed, and while Sam is the narrator for the majority of the book, the snippets we spend with Liv or James or Delia (especially Delia holy shit) add a whole other level to the story.

Stories about modern, contemporary magic are slowly making their way into my life, and I'm so, so pleased to say that all of them have been queer stories, and that adds another kind of magic to them. The fantasy genre has long been dominated by straight white men, and so for queer authors to step in and tell their stories with a magic twist and a modern setting has been so wonderful.

Fair warning, though, this book gets a little heavy at times, but that was probably mostly because my anxiety has been at a ridiculous all-time high lately and reading about characters being anxious and stressful while already feeling anxious and stressed perhaps wasn't the best combination. But I have no regrets because The Fascinators is real and magic and looks at friendship with a boldly critical eye that a lot of YA books tend to gloss over. This wasn't a story about redemption or forgiveness, it was a story about trying your best and learning to grow beyond the limits other people set for you. It's a story about magic and the power to admit that you can be more than your circumstances, more than the things people say you are. It's a book about being okay when things don't work out, and that's a message that feels especially poignant right now.

Similar to: Infinity Son by Adam Silvera and Dark and Deepest Red by Anna-Marie McLemore

10 Things I Can See From Here By Carrie Mac

This book was strange and interesting and honest and feels right at home amidst the weird collection of pride reads this month.

Maeve has struggled with severe anxiety her entire life, but when her mom decides to work in Haiti for six months, Maeve is uprooted and sent to stay with her father, where his struggling sobriety and her stepmother's impending birth are enough to send Maeve on a tailspin. But with the help of a pretty violinist named Salix, Maeve might just learn to see the potential in all the things she's spent her life worrying about.

This book wasn't about the power of love fixing people. Maeve didn't need fixing, she just needed someone to believe in her long enough that she could learn ro believe in herself. And she had that with Salix, sure, but she also had it when she started let people in, like her stepmother, Claire, and her little brothers, and even her father. She had a somewhat complicated relationship with all of them, but only because Maeve was complicated and her way of caring and processing was so mixed up in her worry that it made everything more difficult.

And then there was Maeve's dad's sobriety, and his tenuous relationship with substance abuse. Spoiler city, but he fell off the wagon and he fell off hard, leaving Maeve to deal with most of the fall out. Maeve had to step up and tackle the situation as she wouldn't normally, but it wasn't her job to do that for her dad. He should've been better for her and her siblings, but the fact that he wasn't drove her beyond her anxiety to a family-changing anger, recognizing that she deserved better.

There was quite the cast of characters in this book, most of whom only got partial page time through Maeve's memories. And the in person cast was shaken up and around quite a bit, bringing in new neighbors and other unexpected guests to Maeve's story. They helped bring a bit of linear balance to a story that felt very rooted and unmoored all at once. It was very tethered to a place but not so much to a people, letting Maeve reveal characters (and in turn things about herself) at her own pace.

10TICSFH tackled anxiety with a very real look at both the mental and physical effects. And at times Maeve called herself out on acting a certain way because of her anxiety, but there was a balance in how she treated herself and how others treated her and her anxiety. This was a very weird time to read from the perspective of someone with an anxiety disorder, but it puts some things in perspective. There will always be things to worry about, but you can't let the worries and the anxieties overtake every moment. It will sometimes, and there's no cure-all for every concern, but there are moments that can bring peace and clarity and sometimes those are enough to combat the bad days.

Not necessarily the most positive book, 10 Things I Can See From Here is honest and anxious, broken and healed, and a nice step into an anxious queer teen mind where none of the anxiety came from being gay (only from thinking a girl was too cute to function).

Similar to: We Are Okay by Nina LaCour and Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

True Letters From a Fictional Life by Kenneth Logan

James Liddell is a soccer player in a small backwoods-type community where the number of people who are truly different can be counted on one hand. And James is very determined not to be one of those people, staying in the closet and half-dating his friend Theresa in the hopes that he won't have to deal with the fact that he's gay. But at night, he writes letters he'll never send to the people in his life, telling them truths that would hurt them or help them and processing the events around him. Things start to get complicated when another gay kid gets hurt at a party by someone James thought of as a friend, and when some of James' letters get stolen (and mailed out) James has to confront some truths about himself and the people he thought he knew.

This book was a little bit boring. It was good too, don't get me wrong, but there were parts of that I just kind of felt like I was floating through. The premise isn't a high-action thriller, and a lot of what James' narrating sounds like is a little bit 'slice-of-life' esque, but that's what high school feels like! It feels like one day at a time until suddenly everything is happening at once.

I really like the epistolary aspects of the book. There weren't a lot of letters included, but the ones that were carried a lot of weight in the story, especially once the few that were stolen were revealed. James' inner thoughts varied from his own processing of events to vaguely offensive observations about other people. It all felt very teenage boy, which, as someone who is not a teenage boy, I supposed is only guesswork on my part, but it felt like what I would assume a sporty cisgender white teenage boy dealing with the potential ramifications of his sexuality in small town would feel like. That sentence was convoluted, but I never promised to make sense in these reviews.

James is surrounded by mostly good people. There were some bad eggs for sure, but his friend Hawken was a good one, and I really liked Derek, Kim, and Topher (James love interest!! Who likes theater and plays Hamlet!). James's friends and family all had very mixed reactions to his coming out, and they all felt realistic and genuine. His brother Luke was a pleasant surprise, and I laughed a lot at his insistence that James and Hawken would make a good couple, if only Hawken was gay (this was a great recurring idea with several of the characters, which James found annoying but I found delightful, especially since the book essentially opens with James coming out to Hawken).

Overall, this was a book about the emotions and motions of accepting yourself and the power that gives you to live your life. James felt freer after every coming out, and while there were aspects of his journey that he didn't choose, ultimately, he was the one with the power to make his own decisions and felt better for it.

Similar to: Simon Versus The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli and Sprout by Dale Peck

How To Be Remy Cameron by Julian Winters

This was the first book I read this month (despite the color order) and I read it in about a day. I read Winters' book Running With Lions a couple summers ago and continue to be delighted by his writing.

Remy Cameron is a lot of thing: black, gay, adopted, an older brother, the president of the Gay Straight Alliance, a best friend, an ex-boyfriend. With all those labels, he's pretty sure about who he is. But when he's assigned to write an essay in AP Lit that asks that exact question--who are you?--then suddenly Remy's not so sure. How does he fit into his white family as a black kid? How does he fit into his very straight school as gay, especially when that's the only label so many of them want to use for him? When a cute new boy returns to school and a half-sister suddenly appear in Remy's life, it starts to feel like even the pieces he did know are confusing.

This is a book about labels; the labels we give ourselves, the labels other give us, and the labels we use to define other people. And while those things can be important in some ways, especially when it comes to understanding ourselves, ultimately they can't be a person's most defining feature.

Remy has a very distinct teenage boy voice, with all the sarcasm and insecurity that comes with it. He's a little too focused on boners at times for my taste, but given than I'm not a teenage boy, there's a good chance I'm just a few degrees separated too many to understand that particular fascination. He's a great older brother and has a really good relationship with his friends and his parents, a relationship that evolves as he does, letting people in to see the pieces of himself that he's still learning.

The story itself centers around the essay Remy writes, but since the essay is on who he is, ultimately it's kind of like a big character study done in first person, one that happens to include a cute beagle, an Alice in Wonderland themed graffiti artist, and a zombie themed cafe.

I loved the sheer amount of diversity in this book. Most of the characters were either characters of color (including a hijab-wearing class vice-president) or queer (including a bisexual male head cheerleader dating the star quarterback, who just so happens to be a girl), or both in a lot of cases, which was so refreshing and wonderful to read. There were a few cases of homophobic and racist language, but those were quickly shut down and never used by main characters. They're all teenagers learning themselves, so none of them were perfect, but they were real and diverse and funny and really that's all a reader can ask for.

This book wasn't perfect, there were places where the dialogue felt stilted or the language a little juvenile, but honestly I didn't mind that. Like I said, the characters are teenagers, they're gonna be awkward and weird sometimes, and that's just part of the experience. Julian Winters writes fun queer and diverse books, and if you're looking for something light-hearted and fast to read, check out his stuff.

Similar to: How Not to Ask a Boy to Prom by S. J. Goslee and Sprout by Dale Peck

As I Descended by Robin Talley

If you know me well, you know I don't like ghost stories but I love Shakespeare. So when I saw that Robin Talley had written a queer modern retelling of Macbeth, I had to ignore all the creepy reviews and read it for myself. And it did not disappoint.

Maria and Lily are the Acheron Academy power couple, only no one knows it. Popular Maria has been vying for the schools' coveted Kingsley Prize, and if she wins it her future with Lily is set. But golden child Delilah stands in the way, at least until the two girls decide to remove her from the running. But when things turner darker than either Lily or Maria imagined and more people start to get hurt, they have to face the possibility that they've awoken something in their school--and themselves--that cannot be contained.

Holy shit. Pardon my profanity, but this book was Wild. It opens with a ouija board seance and never calms down from there. The spirits in the book, the real ones pulling the strings, are terrifying. I read this book as quickly as I did because I needed to get through the terrifying parts before I could go to sleep most nights, and like 80% of the book is terrifying. Talley's descriptions are engaging and nightmare-inducing as she leads the reader through the dark halls of the former slave plantation.

Set in the deep south, As I Descended handles a lot of the spiritual significance in spanish culture, included a story I grew up way too familiar with, La Llorona. The spirits spoke to Maria in spanish and both she and the Macduff character, Mateo, have pivotal moments when faced with their white classmates and the spirits haunting the school ground. In fact, the main characters of the story are all queer (with the exception maybe being Delilah, who only gets a little bit of time as the narrator), Lily is disabled, and Maria and Mateo are Spanish. Talley touched issues of race, disabilities, and sexual orientation in this book, all in conjunction with the academy's rich folk population and the haunting spirits that filled the place.

I'm not as familiar with Macbeth and I am with other Shakespeare plays (I read Hamlet in high school like four times, thanks for coordinating the reading lists all my english teachers), but the parts that I was familiar with were very prominent. Lily got to have her Lady Macbeth "out damn spot" moment and Maria's guilt-ridden speech to the ghost of her best friend felt ripped right out of Shakespeare's pages. I'd love to make more comparisons, but it feels too spoilery to do any more, and honestly this is a book even people who don't like Shakespeare should read. Queer Shakespeare is my jam, but if you like ghosts or boarding schools or scary stories of any kind, this book is for you. And even going in with the general idea of Macbeth already in my mind, Talley kept my guessing with all these twists along the way.

I think I've made this sort of comparison before, whether in another review or just to describe books in conversation before, but this book felt a lot like an Edgar Allan Poe story, where you wander into the slightly dark hour and follow the path down the hallways and the stairs, until you realize you've entered a dark nightmare and aren't quite sure how you got there. I followed the characters down into their madness and had a front row seat to their decline. This was a book about agency and power, about responsibility and decisions, but it's also about the way a person can trick themselves (or be tricked by external forces) into believing that they are justified in their actions. Fill with ambition and corruption, this As I Descended is riveting and probably the scariest thing I've read in a long time, and a tragedy I would read again.

Similar to: A Room Away From the Wolves by Nova Ren Suma

Death Prefers Blondes by Caleb Roehrig

This book was one I kind of picked up at random because I needed a purple book, but I am so, so glad I did.

Margo Manning is a high profile socialite by day, but by night she's the ringleader of a group of drag queen thieves, pulling off heists no other team would dare. But when Margo and her team pull a stunt that lands them in hot water with the wrong people, it'll take more than just skill to get themselves out of this bind. And when Margo discovers that the man her father put in charge of his company instead of her is responsible for his death, she'll stop at nothing for revenge.

Starring a dazzling array of fantastic characters, Death Prefers Blondes is a heist story unlike any I've seen before. The cast is spectacularly queer, with a non-binary drag queen mother and a team of gay drag queens, even Margo herself is bi (and her love interest Dallas is Great). And even though the team is all teenagers, the book sets up very plausible reasons for them to have the skills that they do. Each characters was also given time to shine and find some happiness for themselves, which can be difficult with a cast this large. The book was already pretty long, so I doubt more time for each character could be included, and I was actually really satisfied by the amount of screen time each character got.

A book with this many point of views can sometimes be overwhelming, but this one proved it's a very manageable feat. Getting the chance to dive into each main character's head (as well as several side and minor characters) helped set the full scene for the reader and upped the suspense of many of the scenes as we tried to figure out what was staged and what was real. Joaquin and Leif's love story was fun to watch unfold, as well as Davon and Axel's very different relationships with their guardians and learning to forgive the mistakes the people they love make. Each of them had just the right amount of time doing their own thing and participating in the group.

The dialogue was hilarious, especially between Dallas and Margo. It was hard not to grow attached to any of the characters with their quick wit and honesty, and by the end of the book I was so nervous about any of them getting hurt or dying.

This book is action-packed from the get go, starting in the middle of one heist and including multiple as the book goes on. It was fun to see the team in action and kept the pace of the book moving. Some of the action descriptors in the beginning were a bit much, so I did skim to start, but that was really only because I wanted to get further into the story and actually meet the characters. Once they were introduced further I read every single word.

This was a fun book to read, especially because I love double-lives like spies and superheroes and super duper love heist stories. This story had so much heart and humor and revenge, I had such a great time reading it.

Similar to: Heist Society by Ally Carter

Tell Me Again How A Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan

This book was a bit of a wild ride, and part of that may be that I read it in a day right off the coattails of How To Be Remy Cameron, (I do not read these books in order but only in June) but I definitely had a good time with it.

Leila is not the perfect Persian daughter; that honor definitely goes to her older sister, pre-med Harvard student following in their father's footsteps. Leila isn't thin or science-savvy or charming. She also isn't straight, but her parents don't know that yet. Nobody does, and Leila plans to keep it that way. Until she falls for the news transfer student Saskia and the whirlwind of excitement she brings with her. But Saskia is more than Leilah thought, and not in the way she was hoping. A story of coming out and coming into your own, despite who other people try to tell you to be, Tell Me Again How A Crush Should Feel is the story of falling in love with both the wrong and the right person, and what it means to really be loved.

This book tackles a lot of the cultural expectations put on children growing up in America and what their parents want for them/believe they need to be successful. Leila loves her parents and has a good relationship with them, but the things they want for her aren't at all what she wants. The fact that homosexuality is outlawed in Iran and carries a stigma in her culture even in America doesn't help. Leila is this balance of American and Persian that makes both things feel like a weight to her, and that shines in this story without making her home or her parents into bad people.

Leila is a very real character, and not just because she farts or has a crush on her english teacher. Leila is blunt and honest, at least within the confines of her own head, a place only the readers get to see. She bottles a lot of things up trying to be things she's already resigned herself to not being. She's not trying to be perfect, she's just trying to be enough, and just doing that feels really scary sometimes. I do wish we couldn't gotten a bit more of certain characters, like the tech trio, who were so much fun and so quirky but given very little time to do so.

The whole Saskia situation was wild. I've never read anything like that sort of manipulative story in any other book before, and especially not in a queer story. The premise, from a few steps back, seems like it could be a love triangle, but really Leila had to fall for Saskia to know what wasn't right for her. She could then see with a bit more clarity the things that she wanted, even if it did come with quite a bit of relationship-related trauma. She learned how to ask for help with it, though, finding an adult she could trust and a relationship that was literal years in the making. I love a good surprise love story (while also trying to keep it a surprise for readers!).

There were a few interactions in the book that left me a little confused. I sometimes couldn't tell how Leila was reacting to things, and then when her eventual reaction or statements didn't match what I thought they were/what I was feeling, I'd have to go back and reread the scene with the proper lense. A lot of her interactions with Tomas felt uncomfortable and somewhat offensive, at least to me, until Leila would smile and suddenly I'd have to read Tomas as joking instead of insensitive. There was a line that reminded me of a line from Simon Versus the Homo Sapien's Agenda that Becky Albertalli talked about in a later book as being wrong: the idea that girls who come out as gay have it easier than guys, especially in high school. Leila shakes it off after Tomas explains it's because guys fetishize it and think lesbians are hot. Simon thinks something similar in SVTHSA, and Albertalli mentioned later that she regrets that line, since coming out is hard no matter your gender or orientation. TMAHACSF goes as far as to validate Tomas' belief when Leila does come out later, and while that may be a gross thing that straight guys do, it doesn't make it easier for girls to come out. There were a few other instances of things like that, but over all the good outweighed the awkward in this book. And there was plenty of awkward.

I've read one other book from Farizan, which was Here To Stay, and while both stories held a lot of merit for their different subjects, I think I liked TMAHACSF more.

Similar to: Darius the Great is Not Okay by Adib Khorram and Ask the Passengers by A. S. King

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love a heist story. And while this book focused more on the characters attempting the heist and their internal (and external) issues surrounding them, it was still solidly a heist book and a decently enjoyable one at that.

Nari, Bellamy, Reese, Keegan, and Santiago have been friends forever, and graduating isn't going to end that. Santiago's headed for the olympics, Nari to rule the world with her hacking abilities, Keegan wherever Nari goes, Reese on a backpacking trip across Europe, and Bellamy the super genius to MIT. Or, that's the plan, until Bellamy's estranged billionaire father fills out the financial aid forms and MIT pulls their financial support. Bellamy can't afford MIT without finaid, so the five friends take matters into their own hands and a plan a (morally questionable) heist to get Bells the funds she needs to keep her dream alive. But not all of them are comfortable with the number of felonies about to be committed, and their little group of five is feeling the fractures of impending separation alongside these immoral dilemmas. A modern Robin Hood with a touch of vengeance, Immoral Code takes a look at what's important when it comes to friendships and standing up for yourself.

All five main characters got the chance to be the narrator, and for the more part Clark did a great job giving them each a distinctive characters voice. There were a few times where I started reading without looking at the character name connected to the chapter and got a little confused about who was speaking, but that issue was generally able to clarify itself by either character interaction or by me giving up and flipping back a page to check who was the POV.

I will normally rave about the diversity contents of a book, and while there was certain the presence of diversity in this book, I do feel like there could've been more, if I'm being completely honest. Two out of the five main characters were explicitly characters of color and another was presented as being outwardly and proudly aroace (aromantic asexual). And honestly, the aroace diversity is something you don't see anywhere in media, whether it's TV shows or books or movies, so to see a character not only identify as aroace but to be supported by their friends as such was absolutely incredible. There are several lines from Reese that I wanted to highlight or print out and tape to my wall, including a rather brilliant chocolate/sex metaphor and the continued mentioning/embracing that part of her. It was an aspect of her identity that was as unforgettable as her multi-colored hair, and I was Living for it. So on the queer end of things, the inclusion of a very rarely talked about sexuality and romantic identity was so validating that I can almost forgive all the other characters for being cishet (cisgender heterosexual). I do still maintain my case that there could have been more diversity, whether it be queer or racial.

This book did a really good job exploring the different ways people can grow and the way they set expectations for themselves. Characters like Reese and Santiago liked the challenge to prove they could do it, whereas Keegan was already drowning in his own insecurity that facing a moral dilemma that pitted him against his friends only further highlighted those feelings. Most of the characters had something they loved or wanted to pursue, or at least a plan of sorts, while Keegan felt he was the only friend without a special talent or interest. And that was honestly a very refreshing thing to read, especially as an adult who's faced a lot of insecurities both in myself and my future. The book also depicted both unhealthy and more healthy, adult confrontation and the importance of clear communication, whether it's in a romantic relationship, a familial one, or a friendship.

Like I said in the beginning, Immoral Code focused a lot more on the characters than the heist itself, which I wasn't expecting but surprisingly appreciated. Characters make or break a story, and luckily these five kids arguing about what was right or fair versus what was legal or just didn't make the heist any less entertaining. The planning and the suspension is just as fun as the actual event in most cases, and this book was no exception.

Similar to: Coin Heist by Elisa Ludwig

And that's that! I actually had a few more queer books on my shelf that I couldn't manage to squeeze into this month, so pride month may just overflow into July. Ah well, I'm of the opinion that queer characters and authors should be celebrated all twelve months anyway, so I'm not made about it. Come back next month to see which books I've saved for pride month 2.0.

Keep writing, friends!

Sam

Reading recommendation: Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Media recommendation: Avatar: The Last Airbender is on Netflix and should be watched by everyone