June Reviews: Happy Pride!

I started this month with a frantic remembrance that I was supposed to be collecting queer books of certain colors to read and then ended it with a frantic frustration and grief as this country made drastic and horrendously violating decisions about my body.

So. The mood is a little mixed. I'm still processing and grieving, so until then all I can give are the reviews I wrote before that happened (all but one of them, fortunately, but I did manage to be coherent in the final one, even if it is really short). No use delaying things, let's just jump right in:

Ace of Spaces by Faridah Abike-Iyimide

I've had this book for a while because I knew it would work perfectly as a red book for this month, and after reading it I'm both glad and sorry I waited, because it was Very Intense and Very Good.

Devon and Chiamaka don't have much in common beyond their own few well kept secrets and being the only two black students at Nievus Private Academy. But when they become targeted by an anonymous bullying group called Aces, it quickly becomes clear that something more sinister is going on. As the mystery unfolds, Devon and Chiamaka have to decide who they can trust and how they can take down Aces before Aces gets them thrown out of school, or worse.

I don't read a lot of mysteries, and this one grew from what felt like a Gossip Girl schoolyard bullying into a secret society hellbent on ruining lives solely for racist shits and giggles. I was not expecting that much intensity going in, but it meant I devoured this book in like three days, tearing through the chapters filled with rage and unease.

The two main characters were excellent. Chiamaka embodied every mean popular girl all at once, ruthlessly doing what she needed to get what she wanted and then later to survive. And she was fully aware of her own choices, transactional as they may have seemed, and went through life with her head held high. She was a force of nature that Aces didn't see coming. Devon was a softer soul, quiet, trying to just get through things without stirring the pot. He proved to be the heart of the book, and his moments always felt a little musical, even when he was hurting (but that was probably the musician in him).

The side characters are hard to get into with spoiling anything, but there is a queer romance for both Devon and Chiamaka, and it was interesting to watch each respective relationship unfold in different ways as the plot progressed.

I think the only other thing I can say is to reiterate the intensity of this book, along with the frustration at its plausibility, because we unfortunately live in a world where stuff like this is totally possible, and that's terrifying. But it's very well written and a really well done story.

Nothing Burns as Bright as You by Ashley Woodfolk

I've read books in verse before, and it's always an interesting experience. The formatting throws off my brain but not enough to be unenjoyable, but I do tend to zoom through them faster than I intend to, rather than giving myself more time to sit with the words. There are fewer of them, so every single one is exceptionally intentional.

The book tells the story if a volatile and heady relationship between two best friends, something that is both platonic and romantic that they can't seem to label. Both young women feel intensely, but the narrator (neither girls are given a name) is the one running after her seemingly unreachable best friend, too much in love and burning because of it. Filled with flashbacks and poignant moments, NBABAY follows a single day of consequences after they set fire to a school dumpster, and everything goes up in flames.

Despite my speed reading, I was struck by many of the lines in this book, and it sets off a lot of moments and feelings with just a handful of words, thick with implication as much as explicit feelings or moments. Falling in love with your best friend is not necessarily unique, but doing so as queer women in something that tends to be big and all consuming, and this book really explored that.

The characters were interesting and growing and afraid and brave all at once, experiencing life and love with the saturation and heat turned all the way up. It was breathless and painful and beautiful, and this whole book burned with the intensity of these two young women. I'm also very obsessed with some of the metaphors used, especially the ones that cycled through and reappeared.

Overall this was a good read, and hopefully one day I'll be able to sit down and read it again at a better pace.

Similar to: solely because it is one of the only other books I've read in verse and also includes queer young women of color, Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

This is one of those books I knew I would inevitably read, it just took a bit longer for me to get to it than expected.

Ace is an exploration of sexuality in society, how sex is viewed, pushed, and categorized. It's also an exploration of how sexuality intersects with race, disability, culture, and religion, and how society needs to adjust it's general view of sex in order to be more inclusive and less damaging to everyone, not just asexuals.

The first third of this book was, I will admit, a little boring for me. It felt like an introduction to what asexuality is, and while that's absolutely beneficial and required for the bulk of society, I already know what it is. I live it. Chen also talked about her experience as an asexual woman who still enjoys sex with her partner, and while she does explore plenty of other ace identities through interviews and research, as a sex-repulsed asexual it felt much more catered to the other end of the spectrum. Which is probably appreciated by that end, just less so by me.

What I did really enjoy (and when I really started getting into the book) was when Chen started talking about intersectionality and how asexuality exists within spaces that are not able-bodied and white. The religious side of things felt very relatable to be, and I appreciated reading about purity culture through a lens of asexuality and how it's just as damaging to those of us without sexual attraction as it is for those with. I'd never thought in depth about stereotypes linked to race relating to sexuality, and the harm that can have especially on asexual folks. Similarly with people with disabilities and how asexuality seems to embrace and reject them all at once, based on the image projecting toward society. Those parts were absolutely fascinating.

I also appreciated the push toward change in the latter half of the book, explaining that deconstructing society's view on sex as the be all end all would benefit everyone. Overall I do think this book was a little too scientific/article-y for me, but that's probably because I'm so entrenched in fiction that I have a hard time getting my brain to read things like this in the same way. It was a good and important read, and I'm glad I did read it, I just probably won't read it again.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

This book was recommended to me by several people in the last few years, but it wasn't until I was desperately searching for a green queer book to read this month that I finally bought it. I actually had to explicitly Google whether or not it was queer and it took further convincing from another friend that, yes, the book is queerer than you know. And now I can definitely say that yes, not only if the book Evelyn Hugo queer, but so is the titular character the book is named after.

Evelyn Hugo made her millions and fame through an illustrious acting career and seven separate marriages, and now older and reclusive, she's ready to tell the story. And she's chosen unknown magazine writer Monique to do it. Though unsure why Evelyn has chosen her, Monique (freshly divorced and seeking purpose herself) is ready to take the opportunity to do this, both for her and for Evelyn. But as Evelyn begins to reveal more of her life and history, Monique learns that their lives intersect in irreversible and almost unforgivable ways.

Though the book is framed through the timeline of her husbands, the truest and more important relationship she had was with a woman, a fellow actress named Celia. She met Celia amidst her second marriage and everything that followed wove them in and out of each other's lives, leaving up to a very meaningful and heartbreaking end. And the seven husbands serves as great benchmarks for Evelyn's progression in life, her search for purpose and love and importance, leading her to find herself amidst layers of tragedy.

The book is sexy, but not graphically so. It just as often builds on the important relationships she has with the people she loves as it does on Evelyn's sexuality. She uses sex as another tool until she doesn't, another commodity she can use in Hollywood. The parts written in Evelyn's perspective are full of candor-- Evelyn doesn't mince words, even if it is only she who knows the truth. She wants most to be seen, but in crafting the image of herself that she has it has made it impossible for people to really, truly look at her and know who she is. She's a captivating and vigorous character, willing to do whatever she must for what she wants.

Monique was an interesting character through whom we got to know Evelyn. Unsure but learning, she is in many ways as similar to Evelyn as she was different, or at the very least willing to learn from the way Evelyn conducted herself. Getting parts of the story from Monique's perspective was grounding, whether it was just her conversing with older Evelyn to better set the story or her ruminating on her own choices and the way she processed Evelyn's story.

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo is funny and witty and gossipy, but is also a deeply emotional book about a woman's choices and how she has come to terms with them. It is heartbreaking in places and victorious in others, and I absolutely read the whole thing in one day. A smash of a book, I understand all the recommendations and will be peddling my own, because this is a book about an old Hollywood starlet setting out to tell her story in a world that has already determined they know who she is. 10/10 would read again.

Girls Can Kiss Now by Jill Gutowitz

I don't a lot of non-fiction these days, but when my dear friend Hannah sent me this book of essays as surprise gift, I knew I had to read it immediately. This is actually the first book I read for pride month, which really kicked up off to a good start.

A look at lesbianism through the lens of pop culture, Girls Can Kiss Now is an honest, witty, and sometimes embarrassing (affectionate) look at growing up in the era of 'The Internet' as a young queer woman. Gutowitz doesn't shy away from the somewhat cringey parts of herself, instead analyzing why shame is so prevalent in queer society, especially when it pertains to sex. She talks about lesbianism in stages, eras, the cultural shift from destroying celebrity reputations over queer accusations to celebrating those who are out and proud. She talks about recognizing her own queerness in her twenties, her journey toward coming out and finding love.

She looks at the personal and the public, writing essays about her own misadventures in dating (along with some very raw paragraphs about sexual assault, trigger warning for that, but it's done in a very validating and cathartic way) and the friendships that both hindered and helped her on her journey. Her writing about celebrities, social media, and pop culture really taps into the internalization of it all; queerness and fame have always gone hand in hand, but only in recent years when the line between those who are famous and those who are not has blurred has the affect of it all on the folks who grew up in that era really come to light.

I may be slightly too young for several of Gutowitz's references, but a quick google search alleviates some of the mystery there, and the parts I did understand were sort of wild in how true they rang. I wasn't someone who followed celebrities, but just growing up inundated with information about people, whether it was through paparazzi and somewhat trashy reality shows or per the celebrities themselves on their carefully curated social media accounts, crafted my perception of reality and queerness. I, like many queer folks, didn't have a label (or the bravery to even properly acknowledge) my own queerness until college, so it's always validating to read about someone else's journey, even if it's rather dissimilar to my own. Gutowitz's writing is hilarious and aware, especially in her rather meta writing about seeking fame and validation externally.

Overall, I had a really good time reading this book, and will probably be recommending it to all the queer women in my life, and also all the Taylor Swift fans.

And They Lived by Steven Salvatore

I'll be completely honest, I don't know that I was fully in this book when I read it. I felt a bit distant, speed-read a couple parts, and just didn't sink into the connection I wanted. And that's not the fault of this book; it's a queer love story with a nonbinary narrator with body dysmorphia and a huge heart, exactly the sort of queer love story teen me probably would've adored. So I'm glad I read this book.

Chase Arthur is a hopeless romantic, and now that he's at college, he's going to find his adventure. A budding animator, he soon meets charming poet Jack, and their connection is electric. But Chase and Jack both have their own baggage, and even though Chase has finally found the thing he's been waiting for, Jack may not be ready to be what he needs. The two of them have to decide if their love is worth the risk of everything else, or if it could be the very thing that lifts them both up.

So, I will say that I loved that this book was set in college rather than high school. It makes everything feel a bit more free, and makes it less uncomfortable/weird when the characters may or may not get into sex things. And this book does, which is a big part of Chase's journey with his body and his perception of it. I may not have body dysmorphia like Chase, but I know what it's like to feel out of place in your own skin, and so to have moments where Chase does have confidence, where he finds pieces of himself beautiful, even if it's through the lens of another person, was super important. Also, I promise I'm not misgendering Chase, he does a lot of thinking on pronouns and where he fits within and without the binary, and ultimately felt he/him worked.

I had fun with some of the banter with the other characters, though some of it felt like too much at times. But, again, college me probably would've had a field day with it, I'm just old and annoyed now. The secondary characters all had amusing quirks and genuine affection for Chase (at least most of them, but honestly the friend break up and then animosity between Leila and Chase felt very familiar and cathartic for me, because been there done that, it SUCKS), and for as annoying as I found Benny, he had his moments to shine. I also appreciated the different familial relationships and how those affected both Chase and Jack, and how their changing relationships with their parents impacted their relationship with one another and visa versa. They ultimately did things for themselves, but did also grow towards each other.

The all consuming nature of love does stress me out in books (probably because my ass stays as far away from that in real life as possible), especially in a college setting, because yes your heart is broken but also you paid so much money for these classes please go take a shower and do your homework. And this book was not an exception, but I was proud of Chase and Jack for putting in the work to get better, especially since they did it for themselves and not for the other person. Mental health is not selfishness, be better for you and then usually the by product is also being better for them. It's a win-win.

Overall this wasn't my favorite, but it was still a good story and I had fun with parts of it. Sorry this review was kind of disjointed, but also not that sorry, you all knew what you signed up for.

Similar to: Jay's Gay Agenda by Jason June

Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder edited by Saundra Mitchell

I've been meaning to pick up one of the Out There compilations, so when this one plopped down on my doorstep, it sort of felt like fate.

A compilation of short stories about queer folks in futuristic or out of this world settings, Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder is a sci-fi and futuristic look at queer potential uninhibited by the hate of the present. From stories about being uploaded on Mars to being trapped in a time vortex to being the only human beings left on the planet, this book runs the gamut on creative ways to look at queerness and the future.

I always have issues with writing reviews for compilations, because there are stories I like better than others but I also have no desire to review them all individually. I genuinely enjoyed each of the stories though, and the creativity behind each one made it so different from the others, even when some had overlapping themes or ideas. I don't read a lot of science fiction, so this was a great way to get more into that genre, like sampling little bits of different ideas to see what I liked. A charcuterie board of queer science fiction, if you will.

That being said, I'll probably keep this review pretty short and say it was a good time. I sometimes have issues with short stories because I feel like I'm just getting into the story and then it's over, or there's not even time to get the resolution or clarity that I want, but short stories are all about potential, and all of them in this book had that.

And that's it. They're trying to take our rights away, but I will not let them take our pride.

Keep writing, friends.

Sam

Literary recommendation: anything queer, everything queer, everything fiercely feminist and unifying

Media recommendation: anything that helps you get through this tough time. Moderate the things you take in, feel angry but don't feel powerless, and keep each other close.